Funnies - Issue 108 Jun 07

THE FUNERAL
From Gary Palmer: (a good Watton, Norfolk, 'Blue Job' !)
Tom was on the side of the road watching a funeral procession.
One black horse-drawn hearse was followed by another black horse-drawn hearse about 50 feet back.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a muzzled pit-bull dog on a leash.
Behind him there were about 200 men walking in single file.
Tom couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: ‘Sir, I know it is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?’
The man replied: ‘Well, that first hearse is for my wife.’
Tom asked: ‘What happened to her?’
The man replied: ‘My dog bit her and she died.’
Tom inquired further: ‘Well, who's in the 2nd hearse?’
The man answered: ‘My mother-in-law. Trying to help my wife, the dog turned and bit her and she died.’
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
Tom asked: ‘Sir, could I borrow that dog?’
He replied: ‘You'll have to get in line.’
B&C 108

MUJIBAR?
Have you spoken to him ? - from Gini Otway in NY.
Mujibar was trying to get a job in his native India.
The Personnel Manager said: 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.'
Mujibar said: 'I am ready, Sir.'
The manager said: 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.'
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and replied: 'Mister Manager, I am ready.'
The manager responded: 'Go ahead.'
Mujibar rapidly spoke: 'The telephone goes green, green and I pink it up and say: "Yellow, this is Mujibar, how can I help you? "'
He got the job and now works in a Call Centre in Calcutta for a British Company, answering questions on computer problems!
I think I've spoken to him. Have you?
B&C 108

Editorial Rule
To qualify for inclusion in the B&C there is only one rule - something described must have been said to have happened.
The authority is the Editor, British Army Review No 114 Dec 96, `If the facts don`t fit the legend, print the legend’.

However, the rules of good taste, respect and confidentiality are always applied.