DOYEN’S DILEMMA
Further to his fascinating
pieces in B&C
101 Dec 03 and B&C
102 Jun 04, Maj John Knox
Forte MBE, 90 on 2 Nov 2005, in Greece, is
indeed the doyen of the Regt, commissioned in Aug 1935!
To quote B&C 84 Jun 95: ‘he feels grieved to have to
explain to the modern generation that his name, of Norman
origin, is pronounced phonetically ‘force’ and unlike
that of the illustrious Italian caterer.’
Sadly, John is in feeble health, without one hip and
suffering from an arthritic writing hand. Nevertheless,
his handwriting is most readable. Long overdue, here is
his tale of the unexpected visit of the Prince of Wales to
Sandhurst in 1935.
I suspect that most of us during our military career
experience a period of embarrassment when we wish the
earth would part and swallow us up. But of course, it
doesn’t and we have to live with our mortification
until, with the passing of time, we are able to laugh it
all off and even invite others to share the joke. Hence
this entertaining reminiscence of an unforgettable
incident which occurred during my earliest days of
soldiering.
One morning during the spring of 1935, my last term at
Sandhurst, Edward, Prince of Wales, criticised for
spending too much time on the nest with Wallace at nearby
Sunninghill, suddenly decided to don his uniform as a
Major General and pay an official visit to the Royal
Military Academy. Since it was impractical to amend the
training programme without notice, HRH settled on a tour
of the premises and a desire to meet prominent members of
the staff and the captains of (some 20) games, including
myself as captain of association football. We were to be
introduced by our respective Coy Sgt Majors, as no one
else could identify us all. We were warned to be prepared
to answer such questions as: ‘What Regt are you
entering?’, ‘Where is your family home?’, ‘Are you
having a successful season?’ and ‘What school did you
attend?’
Although association football was one of the 3 major
games, we were lined up in order of cadet seniority,
starting with the senior under-officers and ending with my
humble unranked self. This meant that by the time the
exhausted Edward, noted for his mumbling, reached me he
would be inaudible, particularly as I was already hard of
hearing, my ears being bung full of cottonwool due to an
unpleasant ear infection. Scared stiff, I explained my
predicament to my CSM, Biff Bowen of the Scots Guards, and
begged to be excused the introduction. His bellowed
response still rings clearly in my ears 70 years on: ‘In
that case Mr Forte you will bloody well have to lip read,
won’t you sir?’ Having been paraded 30 minutes early
in true military tradition, I had ample time to make an
appreciation of the situation. There appeared to be 4
courses open to me:
1. To reply: ‘Pardon Your Royal Highness, I’m afraid I
am hard of hearing.’ This could be ruled out since the
question might be repeated ad infinitum, albeit louder.
2. To mumble inaudibly. This would work provided that
Edward was in a hurry to get back to his oats but this was
only a probability and not to be relied on.
3. To reply simply: ‘Norfolk.’ This would cover
regiment (not yet Royal), county (of origin) and school
(suggesting a County High School). This was a sound bet at
3 to 1 on a correct answer. Risky but a dead cert if the
previous question related to a successful season. In such
a contingency this was Plan A.
4. Plan B was to reply: ‘At the end so far of a
successful season, I am expecting to be commissioned into
the Norfolks. Norfolk is my home county and also where I
attended school and learned to play football.’
Although Plan B could hardly go wrong, it required careful
rehearsing and was as crappy as hell.
In the event it came to pass that I heard the cadet before
me mention something about match results. Whereupon, I put
into motion Plan A, blurting out ‘Norfolk’ almost
before any question had been asked. The heir to the throne
stared at me quizzically, fidgeted nervously with his Sam
Browne belt and muttered something to Biff Bowen, of which
I caught the word ‘end’. This left me guessing
momentarily if he meant the end of the line-up or ‘The
End.’ However, I was soon enlightened by the look of
utter disgust on Biff’s face, one that only a Sgt Major
worth his true salt is capable of bestowing. Fortuitously
(no pun intended), I never heard another word about my
gaffe though one wag observed: ‘Perhaps that was because
you were deaf.’
[B&C
104]
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